So for the last… well, a long time. In February, 2011, after finishing the first draft of a novel entitled “Rudyard Kipling’s Chair” which is still sitting in a desk drawer somewhere, unwieldy and cumbersome and full of far too many characters and subplots, I was taking a break. Like practicing crop rotation for the creative mind, I picked up another project that had been festering.
This project was tentatively titled “Butterfly,” and it began at 5:45am that morning.
“I work at the Magic Funtime Butterfly Ranch. I make dreams come true. Probably.”
First Reader Copy, Away!
It was the story of a man who is separated from his family and his friends, the story of their struggle to get back together, and the various paths people take to fulfill their desires.
And it still is. About three drafts later, I’m working on that final polishing draft. My first fifty pages have been handed over to my First Reader, who fled the country shortly after receiving them.
So that’s where I’ve been. And I’m still not technically allowed out. I mean, the first fifty pages out of, what, two hundred and fifty? More? Less, hopefully, after some judicious editing? That’s a lot of judicious editing to go, a lot of clean up, usually squeezed in in the wee hours of the morning.
But that’s where I’ve been, where I’m at, and I’m very excited to see it coming along, at long last.
Sure, it’s a listing for a free short-ish short story (the edifying “The History of the Mayan Ball League“). Sure it’s a few pages down from the fold. Sure, I *may* have submitted the listing myself. And sure, sure, I’ve still not had a *single download of the story on a Kobo device.*
But isn’t it *amazing*!
So if *you* are the person with that one Kobo reading machine out there, give it a whirl!
So, as you can tell from the great pile of money I’m sitting on to write this, I’m something of a promotional genius. It’s certainly not for my posture, as my posture goes to pot when I’m sitting on a pile of money, attempting to type. I’ve never read, anywhere, that, to improve your posture you should sit on a pile of money.
Because of this pile of money and fame (the fame isn’t piled, that is incredibly difficult to sit on, and I don’t recommend it), I expect that you’ve come here, looking for promotional advice. “How on earth do you do it?” you might be saying.
Well, I’ll tell you. Per-book pages.
And now Verano the Fish has its very own page, since you can get it from more than one source.
I can tell you, in confidence, because I know you’re that sort of person who will keep a secret, that the main reason for setting up a page for Verano was to be able to hand out the link to people as an easy, mostly reader-agnostic way of getting people the book. Got a Kindle and an extra $2.99? Great, click on the Kindle icon on that page! Have an iPad and thus no more money? Great, click on the iBookstore icon on that page! And, well, that’s it. If you have a web browser and eyes, click on the Goodreads.com icon! I’m afraid you’re out of luck, if you don’t fall into those categories. For the moment.
The brilliant thing, the amazing thing is that, if you only have access to papyrus and the blood of a chicken, well, if we end up getting a publisher which will fulfill your needs (hopefully whilst wearing an apron), we’ll chuck a link to it up on that page and future-you will find it there! Hurray!
Plus it’ll make a great promotional tool when we present the book in the kids’ classrooms.
So there you have it, very sage promotional advice from someone who’s sold (or given away) at least 20 copies of his books.
So I don’t know quite why you’d do this, expect, perhaps, to support my family and myself, allow us to put food on the table, but you can now pay real money for Verano the Fish at Amazon.com.
Verano the Fish: Kindle Edition
It’s $2.99 because that’s the lowest Amazon will let us go, but it’s also at some special, technical tier where they might price match, if they find it elsewhere cheaper, so it may become free there, in the future. And what a future it’ll be! One with flying cars, inflatable bouncy houses we all live in, fast, efficient train services, all of our food in handy pill form, and cotton candy provided as a free service of the state!
It’ll be magical!
But, until that day, you’ll have to pay $2.99 (other prices in places that use currencies that are not the US dollar) for the privilege of reading Verano the Fish, the heart-warming tale of a fish and his family, on your Kindle.
Just know that, with your purchase, we will continue to feed and clothe the children, which would be nice for them, since they provided half the content for this book.
Fresh off the publication of Verano I’ve already got my hordes of nearly illegal child labor hot on the tails of the next big thing. And I’m here, today (or whenever you read this, really), to present to you the next big thing out of our children’s book publishing house:
Verano 2 (and his little sister, of course)
It’s Verano, back again for a second installment!
I can’t reveal too much about the story without killing you, but I have been cleared to tell you that, yes, those are teeth.
And our other new franchise, all I’ll tell you about this one is that it’s long been a family favorite at dinner time, and that he, too, seems to have acquired a younger sister, a liberty taken by the artist that may result in some sort of fine or other punishment, for going off-script.
So don’t you fear that you and your family will get to the end of Verano the Fish and lack for more thrilling content to read and pictures at which you can cast your beady eyes.
And when you’re done with it rest assured that the next book will be along in the next year, maybe two, seven, at the outside.
* Warning: Actual life-changing properties may involve unwanted rabbit infestation, a convertible appearing in your driveway out of the blue, water damage, a plague of locusts, and/or the ghost of Ned Coleman narrating every Thursday for the rest of your life.
So until now you had to be one of those lucky enough to have an iPad to read Verano the Fish, but today I’m announcing the immediate availability of Verano the Fish right in your very own web browser!
So if you have eyes and a computer you can now read Verano the Fish, for free!
At great personal expense and risk, I’ve put Verano up on Goodreads.com, where you can read the book from the comfort of your browser or you can download it and stick it wherever you like (though you’ll probably void the warranty on your device if you do that):
I’ll be writing a bit more about this book in the coming days, in particular the production of the thing, but if you are a child or have some of them around, you might want to go check out our “deftly wrought parable for the modern age,” said no one, called Verano the Fish.
Verano in the sea
It’s an iBookstore exclusive, it’s free (besides, of course, the iPad you had to buy to read the thing on), and it’ll thrill and amaze you (or those kids you’ve borrowed for the purposes of this experiment).
