So it was one of those “hey, why don’t you?” kind of moments. My wife and dedicated First Reader said to me, after the first fifty pages, “Why don’t you make a book trailer?”
She explained the pieces she thought would make the cut and I agreed.
A few months later, she repeated the same thing. The book received more editing, more pages were laid down. She was speaking to me through a little food and mail slot in the heavy iron door, behind which I sat. I agreed.
Months more passed. Seasons changed. The book was finished. My beard was matted and home to a small family of squirrels. Again came the refrain through the food slot: “You should make a book trailer.” Again I agreed. “But,” I said, “first let me send it out to a publisher and an agent.”
The heavy iron door burst open. The bricks shook and chalk dust from my rudimentary calendar on the wall rained down on what I was embarrassed to find were chicken and possibly mice bones in the corner of my writing room. “You need to make a book trailer,” she said.
As you can see, it hasn’t just been all fun and games and men in people’s nostrils. Bill still won’t let me talk to people, since I have 100 pages or so to edit. But this latest and near final draft is limping to that great finish line in the sky. See you in 2020!
Volume II, Issue 2 of The Oddville Press with my short story “The Man in My Nostril” is now out!
I alluded to this the other day, but now everyone, including you, can now read this excellent issue from the hard-working bunch of folks at Oddville.
Head to their website and their downloads page, which is linked above, or you can download the PDF directly from here (it’s around 9MB if that sort of thing means anything to you).
Besides my amazing story about, well, a man in my nostril, it’s got some fantastic writing. Personal faves were “How to Cut Open Your Unicorn” by Jacquelyn M. Stolos, “Terminal Velocity” by Linton Robinson, “What the Bison Feel” by Mark Rigney, and “Peter’s Glass” by Andrew Davis.
It’s about as free as you’re going to get, so go grab a copy for your favorite PDF reader (like iBooks on the Mac or iPad or phone) or ask a friend with an electronic device to download it and print it out for you, or tattoo it on their back so you can sit back, relax, and have a read.
I have only mentioned it briefly elsewhere, but now that I have the advance reader copy in my digital hand I suppose I can trust that they’re not lying to me and that they will actually publish the story. My short story, “The Man in My Nostril” will be published in Volume 2, Issue 2 of The Oddville Press (due out any day now).
It’s a story about babies, nasal rinses, little men, and cats and I’m 75% sure you’re going to love it.
I can’t remember who said it, but I read an author’s story, years ago, of how he kept motivated by making space for his as-yet-unpublished book on the bookstore shelves when he visited. He’d push aside the books to either side of the spot where his would go and just place his finger there for a few minutes. It was something I started doing, and my daughter will come along with me, if she’s around.
Well, I took a break from working on the book at the beautiful Los Gatos Public Library the other day to help the staff make space for Butterfly, a novel.
A quick public service announcement to say that we’ve hit 190 and counting on the short story that has grown and grown like a force-fed chicken.
Or a weed, for you vegetarians.
And by ‘we’ I mean me, of course, and my agent, Bill, who has been holding a sawed-off shotgun at my head for the last few months while I whittle away at the monstrous fourth draft. His arms were getting tired (interesting fact, even if the shotgun is propped up and it’s not nearly as heavy as a full-barrelled shotgun, your arms will get tired holding a sawed-off shotgun at one level for an extended period of time) so he’s gone off to rest them and use the restroom for a few, which is why I’m allowed… well, not allowed, but, you know, taking advantage of the time to post this little update from inside the writer’s studio/prison.
The last forty or so pages may not be the prettiest in the world, but some of the words on those pages even look like they belong together in the same sentence.
So the next batch of manuscripts have been sent off to the First Readers — I’m at the 150 page mark.
It’s a little like painting a room. You put on the first coat. Take a break for lunch, let that first coat dry. Put on the second coat on one wall. Notice a spot on the ceiling, go get some paint remover. Put on the second coat on another wall and the third coat on the wall which already has a second coat because you’d forgotten you’d already done a second coat.
Notice that the fourth wall is patchy. Give it a quick second coat in the trouble spots. Realize later that you need to now re-do that entire wall. Give the third wall a once over, and you see that you’d forgotten to tape off the outlets or remove their faceplates on that wall.
At least that’s how I paint a room*.
It’s a somewhat more productive method that I use for drafting and editing my novel, Butterfly, which I’m sure you’re just dying to get your grubby little hands on. But it’s a similar method to the painting analogy. And this time round I’ve added one new painter’s tool to my toolbox, to allow me to go over the previously painted (to belabor a metaphor) sections is to use the laptop’s built-in ability to turn text into a spoken track.
So I use Scrivener, that excellent Mac-based writing software for organizing my manuscript. I’ll select all the text documents that make up a chapter, especially one that needs some work done, which gives me one long chunk of text.
I’ve got a whole other long and boring system for marking chapters that need work, in-progress, near final draft, and final drafts with different colored flag icons, but I’ll probably go into that at some other time if any one at all out there cares.
So I’ve got my big long window full of text. I hit ⌘-a to select all (Edit > Select All), and then right-click (or click with two fingers on the trackpad of the laptop) the highlighted text. What you should see is that menu above… with an item at the bottom for “Add to iTunes as a Spoken Track.” It’ll ask you what voice you want to use (the default voice, Alex, isn’t too bad), and then you’re good to go. You’ll hear a little noise when the transcription of the text into audio is finished.
In my particular workflow I then right click on that file in iTunes, show it in the Finder, and copy the track to Dropbox, and then open it on my iPhone for my walking around time or drive-time to have a listen to a reasonable facsimile of what I’ve written.
This is far, far easier than reading the text yourself into a microphone and making your own version with your own voice. Besides, if you recorded your novel-in-progress in your own voice you’d likely just cringe at how that doesn’t sound a thing like you the entire time and not pay too much attention to the words you’re speaking.
* Now available for hire for reasonable rates for all your interior painting needs.
Well, youse fellas have already seen it, back at Christmas-time, but I figured, in honor of Saint Patrick’s very own day, I would re-publish (by just re-linking) my short story about Saint Patrick’s next trick, after ridding Ireland of all the snakes.
So don’t waste any time, just go download “Saint Patrick’s Next Trick,” which is a far better way to celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day than wearing a shirt or button that reads “Kiss Me, I’m Irish.”
For next year I’ll consider printing the entire story on a button, if you prefer to express your Saint Patrick-ness on buttons.