So I don’t know quite why you’d do this, expect, perhaps, to support my family and myself, allow us to put food on the table, but you can now pay real money for Verano the Fish at Amazon.com.
It’s $2.99 because that’s the lowest Amazon will let us go, but it’s also at some special, technical tier where they might price match, if they find it elsewhere cheaper, so it may become free there, in the future. And what a future it’ll be! One with flying cars, inflatable bouncy houses we all live in, fast, efficient train services, all of our food in handy pill form, and cotton candy provided as a free service of the state!
It’ll be magical!
But, until that day, you’ll have to pay $2.99 (other prices in places that use currencies that are not the US dollar) for the privilege of reading Verano the Fish, the heart-warming tale of a fish and his family, on your Kindle.
Just know that, with your purchase, we will continue to feed and clothe the children, which would be nice for them, since they provided half the content for this book.
Fresh off the publication of Verano I’ve already got my hordes of nearly illegal child labor hot on the tails of the next big thing. And I’m here, today (or whenever you read this, really), to present to you the next big thing out of our children’s book publishing house:
It’s Verano, back again for a second installment!
I can’t reveal too much about the story without killing you, but I have been cleared to tell you that, yes, those are teeth.
And our other new franchise, all I’ll tell you about this one is that it’s long been a family favorite at dinner time, and that he, too, seems to have acquired a younger sister, a liberty taken by the artist that may result in some sort of fine or other punishment, for going off-script.
So don’t you fear that you and your family will get to the end of Verano the Fish and lack for more thrilling content to read and pictures at which you can cast your beady eyes.
And when you’re done with it rest assured that the next book will be along in the next year, maybe two, seven, at the outside.
* Warning: Actual life-changing properties may involve unwanted rabbit infestation, a convertible appearing in your driveway out of the blue, water damage, a plague of locusts, and/or the ghost of Ned Coleman narrating every Thursday for the rest of your life.
So until now you had to be one of those lucky enough to have an iPad to read Verano the Fish, but today I’m announcing the immediate availability of Verano the Fish right in your very own web browser!
So if you have eyes and a computer you can now read Verano the Fish, for free!
At great personal expense and risk, I’ve put Verano up on Goodreads.com, where you can read the book from the comfort of your browser or you can download it and stick it wherever you like (though you’ll probably void the warranty on your device if you do that):
We started working on Verano in a furniture store.
I was occupying the kids, who, like all kids, are like mini-tactical nuclear devices in shopping situations. You need to handle them very, very carefully, lest they explode. Luckily, it’s easy to occupy our kids, or at least contain them, especially in a furniture store, where we can pull up on a couch and simply tell them a story. We had a few long running stories they’d get at bedtime, but I don’t know if it was the change of scene or what, but we went in a different direction, that day. I wanted to tell a story about a fish, I didn’t have a name for the fish, but the couch on which we were sitting did, so we used that: Verano.
The story was Three Billy Goats Gruff-esque, and pretty much stayed true to itself through all the different re-tellings. They’re a reason those folktales are repeated so often, they’re just simple, well-constructed, and taut. We repeated the story for mom on the ride home. And then again for the next few nights at bedtime. The kids really enjoyed Verano, the little mischievous side to him, a little like the mouse in the Gruffalo, which is one of their favorites.
We talked, as a family, about turning it into a book a few times. With the iBookstore, iBooks Author, and the other electronic self-publishing platforms it’s pretty easy and inexpensive to get your content out and about. We theorized, anyway. None of us had had any experience doing it with a children’s book, so we just took it on faith that the advertising copy wasn’t selling us short.
Despite the perceived ease of doing so, the actual construction of the book languished. We would tell the story a few times at night, and make up sequels with Verano asking for teeth, or a story or two about his sister’s adventures, but the actual drawing of the fish just never happened. There were a few half-hearted attempts, and a few times we tried to really get down to it the Social Services SWAT team busted in the doors and whisked the kids away. The fact that we also had the kids making sneakers probably didn’t help our case.
I’m not a particularly good artist, and we wanted the kids to do the artwork, and have some hand in the creation of the book. And, you know, cheap child labor.